How do you mend a disappointed relatonship?! March 29, 2007

 

Expectation is the most dangerous weapon one laid against oneself.

 

When you expect so much from another person, it’s hard not to find yourself disappointed.

Afterall, what right do we have to expect someone to live to our expectations?

Whilest we at the same time refuses to accept being given a high standard to live to.

 

When you are disappointed, it’s hard to find the whole experience and interaction interesting anymore –

until you are being surprised nicely again, of course.

 

The problem is, sometimes you know it is not even another’s fault that they cannot fulfill what you want them to.

And you are left with this frustration within, thinking either one of the two:

1) damn you

2) damn me

 

It’s sour, most times bitter.

And it lingers like a bad breath but mostly ONLY you can smell.

 

You suck it up until frustration wears out –

there is really nothing you can do other than realizing your mis-calculation.

And regret that you had the idea in your head to start with.

Then cope with the regret that you don’t want to admit.

 

Well, if that is any consolation, I understand and you’re not the only one.

 

 

Passion March 24, 2007

 

Welcome Spring.

 

It’s the season to talk about passions.

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There has to be a relationship in your life that you cannot let go.

It’s like a knot under your skin.

In time, you can barely feel it anymore, but you know it’s there.

You don’t want to touch it. Yet you don’t want to cut it out.

 

Some people say, that is the scare of love.

And a lot say it will only happen once in a lifetime.

 

But what is love?

Is it measured by the scare it left behind with the deepest wound?

Or is it measured by satisfaction?

 

Most of the times our definition of love is based on the impact a relationship has on us.

We say love is measured by the passion you feel.

 

Passion blinds us all from seeing nothing else but the one person.

And in the course of losing sight of yourself and falling head over heels,

we lose a lime or two in a fight of jealousy,

cut a deep open wound in our heart,

left our brains and our hearts shattered on the floor under someone’s foot.

 

But if passion thrived from jealousy, insecurity and hatred, how could it have been love?

And if that passion will never return, is it a loss to us at all?

 

So lets be hopeful. One day you will see a person that you can trust,

someone you feel you can grow old with.

Despite that you can see everything else around him or her crystal clear,

and you recognize yourself in the mirror still.

 

 

Coming back to our worth March 21, 2007

I recently feel more and more about how we are wasting our time trying to impress people when your effort doesn’t really get you anything transcent time. 

Even if it’s our loved ones, does it matter that we prove anything – they love us all the same.

 

So my conclusion is really that we are doing it for ourselves.

Because we need to see our worth to see our existence.

 

It’s sad because it really isn’t that necessary when it comes to happiness. And being happy is what make life worth living.

 

Anyways…I hope to be able to put up a new illustrator soon and change the look a bit.

I think I have enough of the sludge!

The value of individuals March 15, 2007

 

Sorry friends that I have disappeared. Have been tired, sick and busy.

 

Recently at work I have been packing up and purging to get ready for our big move to midtown location.

Most of the age-old documents I have come across in the process are purged.

They represent the past 6 years of hard work from someone who is no longer in our office.

Some of them are so tidily filed it was ashame to have to shed them page after page.

 

Can’t help thinking what happened to all the trails and records I left in my last positions?

Are they also disappearing from the history of an Ad Agency on the other side of the world?

 

In the business world, no one is irreplaceable. And personality really doesn’t come to play for a high score on your review. 

Individualism is basically non-existent.

What merely represents your presence was the paper trail you left behind.

And they don’t last more than 3 years unless yours belong to Finance Dept.

 

So what is our value to a company when we cease to be?

Nothing but shedded pieces of paper.

 

Imagine all these hours we pour into our work.

Trying to fight for appreciation and a good record in people’s minds. 

How vain…

 

Then come to think of it, as an individual your value to the rest of the world is really not judged on the realistic projects you have accomplished but who you have influenced.

And our value is remembered, not recorded.

 

If you are not remembered, you cease to exist.

Like if humans are gone one day, the world and the forest will still be here.

And it will not matter to anything if Nikisha is ever here.

 

That may sound sad but I guess looking at it from a positive spin,

it’s ok to disappoint a few that you don’t care. And it’s ok to not try so hard to impress people.

 

Because eventually we will all be gone and our record removed.

What matters to us is how WE see ourselves, till our last breath runs out.

 

 

Heavy Eyelids – temporarily dysfunctional March 6, 2007

 

Passed out on sofa last night at 11p.m. after sugar-crashing over a bowl of peanut-butter crunch and woke up at 8:30a.m. this morning.

 

Even with whole 9 hours of sleep and sunny crispy cold weather outside I’m still feeling worn. My eyelids are heavy with only 50% of vision going through, and my temple is constantly reminded of this dull pain…

 

For once, I’m blank not because of lack of time, but possibly a combination of boredom, satisfaction, and potentially cold/flu.

 

So my point after the longwinded mumbling is that this blog will be one hell of a boring one…for another week.

 

I’m looking forward to my house party this Friday. My rabbits will hate me for bringing all these crazy people over pulling their legs.

Hope it will be fun.